Is it possible to be in courtship and not have sex?
My dear young lady, I know a lot of things are happening in the cultural environment of this 21st century that makes you believe a courtship without romance is not possible.
But I will like to tell you sexual purity in courtship is possible. Kissing and exploring your bodies without the actual act of sex is not sexual purity.
The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works so let people see God in you through your body. 1Cor 6:20
A relationship that chooses to remain physically pure gives all the time and attention to know one another on a deeper mental level beyond emotional affairs. Sometimes all this touching distracts and deprives you of what you are meant to be doing in courtship. You have distracted each other too early or inappropriately with physical contact.
Set boundaries!! Save all the kisses for your marriage. Try to count the number of times you will kiss in marriage.. 10,20,50,100..hmmm countless.
So take a practical decision and choose what you will and will not do before marriage. Prov 6:27-28 the Word of God remains your standard and it’s not negotiable. Heb 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. Until you are legally joined don’t touch your bodies. You need to be awake to what matters to God. It might be a real battle but the bible says FLEE!!
Don’t set the standard as you go. Emotions can be tricky. So make wise choices and commit them to God regularly in prayer. They will help you resist the pressure to open the gift too early.
I will marry only a growing Christian Man
I will concentrate on the friendship, not the romance
I will not spend time with him at home alone
I will not give kisses and hugs freely
I will not lay down beside a man. And so on.
The spiritual side of romance is often overlooked. A person will feel acute spiritual pain and separation from God when involved in such. It feels awful to be separated from your God by the guilt of Sin.
So retrace your steps back to him. God can make you new again. We can’t continue in sin and pray that grace should abound. God is willing to help you just return to him with a broken and contrite heart. I want to tell you that there is grace, he will keep you.
Then tell your fiancé that you are committed to sexual purity and also find an accountability partner either your pastor, mentor or, a friend you can vouch for his or her salvation. Break off from every ungodly and undefined heart relationship. There are lives you can’t afford to fail.
Agree with God now. He loves you and I love and care about you too. Please feel free to share