DON’T WANT TO MARRY A NON-VIRGIN?
I have gotten a number of messages inbox where my virgin brothers (especially) and virgin sisters expressed their worries not only about marrying someone who’s not a virgin but someone who has had a number of abortions and unpleasant past.
Go with me on this ride and grab my counsel
Out of tens, let me use this case for this discuss.
“I am a YOUNG MAN, born again and a virgin. I believed
that keeping my virginity was a nice thing to do until recently when i proposed to a lady; later when i
asked about her sexual life, she told me about her past relationships and the disheartening thing was that she was sexually active with her ex-boyfriend/fiance. I must confess I did feel so cheated and a pang of regret hit me so hard because I have been keeping my
virginity hence I thought I deserved a virgin lady after all.
Life is unfair! I have also observed something that good people
don’t get good partners. There are some of my friends who are not born again at
all and lived like ‘no life after death’ but they ended up with VIRGINS as
Why can’t I also have a VIRGIN as a wife?”.
Hmmm. I just smiled. I quite understand that kind of thought.
To start with, let me ask you, WHY ARE YOU A VIRGIN AND WHAT
KEPT YOU TILL NOW?
WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVATION FROM THE BEGINNING?
I feel answering these soul-searching questions can help detoxify your MINDSET.
See, virginity is a token of the purity of your body. I do celebrate you brethren for keeping your bodies in purity. God is happy with you too. But I will like you to get something straight here; there is a difference between MORALS AND being BORN AGAIN. One can be a moralist without being Godly.
There are virgins who are not born again! So, what’s the big deal about our virginity?
Let me mention that if you are not born again, please see Jesus
like Nicodemus did in John3:3.
Nicodemus was a GOOD MAN but he had no relationship with Christ until he came to Jesus to fill the emptiness in his life.
So, why are you a virgin? If your reason is not pure and God-driven, you will not only FALL along the way but also end up feeling bitter if eventually you have to marry a NON-VIRGIN.
Are you keeping your virginity because you want a virgin wife or
For your safety against HIV and sexually transmitted diseases?
To prove a point that virgins exist?
To stand out of a corrupt and sexualised society?
OR for an OBEDIENCE TO THE COMMANDMENT OF GOD for sexual purity and your SOUL?
So what is your reason? Produce your strong reason.Selah
If you have given your life to Christ, then keeping your
virginity is an act of obedience and purity. It is worship for the Bible says
your body is God’s temple.
If this is so with you, you sure do not need to feel cheated or bitter if your partner is not a virgin.
It simply means you have enjoyed the GRACE to be STAND IN PURITY.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong, sinful or disappointing in marrying a non-virgin so you can marry a lady/man who is not a virgin but you have to be sure he/she is now REFORMED, I mean born again. If he/she has repented from the sin of fornication then you don’t need to see him/her in that mess again. God gives a second chance 2.Cor 5:17
But if you are not sure of his/her salvation then you will
likely have a problem entering into such a relationship. He/She will end up
DEFILING you and destroy your covenant of purity with God in the course of the
Cautiously assess his/her spiritual life all over again before you proceed with the relationship.
Secondly and most importantly GOD decides your mate NOT YOU, if He wishes, He can give you a virgin and if not, virginity is not the ONLY CRITERIA for choosing a Marital partner. Settle for someone who has been to JESUS for the cleansing blood.
Just like Joseph overcame sexual sin by just one STRONG REASON: “…HOW THEN CAN I DO THIS GREAT WICKEDNESS AND “SIN AGAINST GOD” Genesis. 39:9
From my life experiences I discovered that no reason was STRONG enough to keep me through Sexual temptations except MY LOVE FOR GOD & HIS COMMANDMENT also purity is a lifetime commitment not just a commitment for Singlehood but through your married life.
Check your reasons and change your mentality. You need just one GOD’S son/daughter to marry, if you meet that one person a virgin, good one if not, good one.
Who will marry all these harvest of SOULS we are preaching to if not God’s Sons and Daughters.
I think somebody can also pick sense here and live right.
Written By Esther EBUNOLUWA Omoniyi