The wedding date has been fixed for May 7,that is about two weeks time not knowing what was at stake . At this time we were to see his Pastor as earlier scheduled .There were a lot of people waiting to see him but when it was our turn, he(the Pastor) asked us a few questions and told us he would only give us his consent based on what my would be husband had earlier told him and based on the recognition of his siblings in the church. At this point, I became suspicious .
After seeing the Pastor we went for a medical test immediately as requested by the church. On getting back to his house, I was in the toilet, when i heard the elder Sister mentioning my would be groom’s name from the staircase, immediately he ran out to go and meet her. She did not know that I was inside and was shouting on top of her voice saying “you are the one that is planning for wedding, the family does not have any stake in this wedding of yours fixed for two weeks time. It is better you call this girl and tell her the truth that you do not have a job to sustain the wedding ,that you do not have a certificate and that you have been deceiving her and loading her with a pack of lies”. At this point, I was dumbfounded and went straight to my would-be-groom asking him various questions at the same time for which I received no answers. The sister then called me aside and told me that the HND certificate which he claimed to have is a lie, that he doesn’t have a job as he claims, and a lot of his other misbehaviours unknown to me.
I had believed everything this guy had told me. Moreso this guy was brilliant, He would come over to my place in school to teach me mathematics, I got so impressed about him ever since our first meeting point which was in a church programme. The distance factor in our courtship did not allow for too much of intimacy that would have enabled me to verify those claims. I believed I was getting married to a graduate who was doing some internet consultancy job with an American firm and who would soon be travelling over there with his entire family. With all the Spiritual exercises we did together, praying, fasting, I had no doubt that my would be husband had the fear of God deep in his heart. Though I was having some quiet checks in my Spirit but i was too persuaded and even if I wasnt i was too close to be otherwise.
By this time, we had already done the introduction (2 months earlier), the invitation cards were everywhere, the bridal wears are ready, foodstuffs had been bought except for the perishables, the cooking arrangements, gifts, luggages, e.t.c, In fact i had already moved some of my belongings to his house in preparation for the D-day. Unfortunately it was all a lie. Unknowingly, this guy was no graduate, his internet consultancy Biz was actually a cover up for yahoo – yahoo practice (internet fraud). I was decieved and that perfectly well. The question then was What do I do? Let me say What would you do if you were the one. Considering the shame this would bring to my family and everyone who was in top gear preparations with me. How easy was it going too be to announce to all and sundry that wedding has been cancelled! What would I do?
It was exactly 14 days to the wedding, yet I made up my mind to opt out of the marriage. He sat down there speechless, knowing there was no way he could hide again. Unfortunately for him, the junior brother also came out to confirm the statement of his sister. The young guy confessed, he would have told me the whole thing earlier but he could not face it looking at my level of commitment. Immediately I told God, this wedding is not going to hold but that God should please answer the following prayers:
1. Give my parents the grace to bear the shame looking at our level of preparation
2. Give me the grace to stand at this period.
3. Change my story in a way that would surprise the whole world.
Thereafter,my own Pastor invited him and he never denied any of these story earlier related by the siblings . My Pastor asked him “why have you been deceiving her?” he replied “I didnt want her to leave me”. The problem here was not a problem with marrying a non graduate or a jobless man. No! If only it was based on sincerity and not a lie. A home built on a lie is already heading for the rocks ever before it takes off. That was the end of the road with him. I faced the humiliation, disgrace and shame from friends, relations and the body of Christ but i knew i never took a wrong decision. You can imagine everybody who meets you on the road is asking the same question, “What really happened?” A number of people still showed up dressed at the wedding venue but Alas! It was cancelled. It wasnt easy but it was worth it.
I trusted God, I waited on him in tears again to give me double honour for all my shame and setback. To cut the long story short, God honoured me in a unique and wonderful way. Exactly 3 weeks after this incident a friend whose father in Law was to be buried invited me over to their party. Somehow, I reluctantly obliged after a number of persuasions from some of my friends. It was at that party that I met this man who is now my husband and the father of my child. Incidentally he was coming to the ceremony from a vigil in which his major prayers was that the Lord should hook him up with his own wife in a way that only God could have done it.
I never knew him before then but the courtship was like we’ve been friends for ages. This one was for real. He was a blessed man though very quiet, much more than I could have bargained for. He was the man for me. God perfected everything such that in less than a year we were married gloriously and exactly ten months from the wedding I was blessed with a child. This is my testimony. I am happily married and I’m still praising God for it.
In case you are reading this article and you are on the way to the altar with a man in whose hands, your heart is not at rest. Peradventure, you are already seeing some handwritting on the wall. You are not married but probably this guy is already beating you or he is already cheating on you. Just in case, you have been percieving the still small voice of God’s Spirit tugging your heart here and there to let go of this guy but… Probably you are considering the number of years you have invested in this relationship, or the consistent apologies for actions that shouldn’t have ever occured. Probably you are already close to the wedding day and your resolve is to manage it on! DON’T DO IT! This article was written because of you. You are the one God has sent my story to. God is offerring you a way out. It may be a hard way out, but it would lead you to a glorious destiny. Peradventure you need my counsel,
Sis Patricia
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