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Purity and Moral Excellence


I keep receiving messages from my wonderful followers who are eager to know if kissing is okay and permissible in their courtship. Atleast one is not having penetrative sex, won’t partners touch each other at all ni?

Real Believers do not debate sex before marriage is a sin but many people find it hard to do without kissing and the likes.

Kissing is not a part of Christian COURTSHIP, but part of a Christian MARRIAGE. Yes, I can say that again.

Like my mentor, Pastor Dunamis Okunowo of Kisses and Huggs taught me, “Courtship time is not a time to submit your lips like exam scripts for kissing…but a time to talk”

Before I rededicated my life to Christ and met my husband who didn’t only save sex for marriage but waited for our FIRST KISS at our Wedding Reception, I submitted my lips like exam scripts for kissing and romance and I can tell you it shifted things in my spiritual health.
How many times I told myself, “It would be a parting kiss” but got prolonged.
How many times I told him don’t touch my body, just kiss but nay.

Being SEXUALLY PURE IN YOUR COURTSHIP means it is devoid of any form of sexual activities: kissing tongue to tongue, fingering, smooching, fondling and caressing genitals, free from oral sex, anal sex, pornography, sexting, phone sex, cohabiting and romance.

In fact, let’s make it simpler, everything both of you can’t do together when your pastor/mentor is around is a Sin.


One, kissing is an exchange. Kissing tongue to tongue involves an exchange of water/saliva which is automatically a bonding process. In the process of kissing, both of you swallow each other’s spittle and I feel it connotes a bond and intimacy. Closing your eyes process the enjoyment for you. At this time, do we see the Holy Spirit giving us thumb up? No

Two, kissing is a chain of activities. Kissing is an act which is not singular. How do I mean? I counseled a lady and I asked her ” When you kiss your boyfriend, what does your hands do?”
She looked away. Likewise let us think…when you kiss someone your hands will complete the act by doing all the other ones**** thereby tampering with each others sexual organs in the process. You don’t stand in different angles and push your lips out at each other. I do hope you understand? So I am not going to overflog this further.

Thirdly, kissing will leave you hungry and dissatisfied. Kissing is like an appetizer. It will build up your passion and even if you are determined never to go beyond tongue to tongue kissing; soon or later you will get tired of kissing and proceed beyond the act or get back and end up masturbating yourself. Of course kissing is a foreplay.

Fourthly, if one thing will not lead to another then ”TAKE HEED” Don’t trust yourself TOO MUCH. Being able to control your kissing and ensuring it doesn’t lead to sex too is still part of fornication. I wink when people tell me “We are not having sex, just KISSES”

I do add ” and ROMANCE”

It is never too late to begin again. purity all the way through your courtship. Stop!

Some people even quote that the Scripture says in Romans 16:16 ”Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings”.

Please I don’t believe the holy kiss Paul the apostle mentioned here is the romantic tongue to tongue, saliva-sucking, tongue-travelling kissing we are talking about. It is just lip to cheek or forehead.

The holy kissing(christian love) which is permissible among the brethren in our time is that ‘sisters should hug sisters while brothers should hug brothers” and opposite sex do hand shake.

There are many things we term “little” and ”common or normal” I advise we all search our Spirit and yield to the promptings/warnings of the Holy Spirit.

It doesn’t matter how far you have gone! He is a God of a second chance. Start afresh now!

Purity is a conscious and deliberate effort! We can achieve it!

You May Kiss Your Bride/Groom is a call at your joining in Holy Matrimony. It is practiced in some churches while others don’t. I wished it is done in my church though. Winks.

You may Kiss…means by the reason of your joining in Holy matrimony, you are NOW given the LICENSE, the freedom to KISS each other and do the rest HENCEFORTH when you get home. The embargo is lifted at your joining/ as you’re pronounced a HUSBAND and WIFE.

Photo credit: Google

Written By Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi


Oyesanya Adewunmi is a Professional Blogger, a daughter of Zion that as a compelling motive and propelling force that motivates her which is the gospel. Her motivation in life is the expansion of God's kingdom for therein she finds fulfillment and all blessings she could ever desire. she is a lecturer by profession and also the CEO of two brands. She is a music minister and an advocate for sexual purity. She belongs to some NGO's like School of Virtue, BABES Redefined and Threshing house. She is a dynamic leader with records of outstanding performances and leadership in diverse roles of increasing responsibilities. In this blog she writes about purity, spiritual growth, moral excellence, relationship, entrepreneur strategy and true life stories. You can follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram or send an email to

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